learning…

i was hit by beautiful weather, a wave of exhaustion, and a hacking cough, in succession, during the last two days of kids clothes week.  the gorgeous spring sky was undeniable that final weekend, so i traded in my sewing machine for a rake and a pair of clippers. (following a small amount of gardening came two solid weeks of colds for the bee and i. ick.)

clippers_web

so, i started the last two pieces of my kcw project, got 95% done…and then just fizzled out. i caught my daughters cold, and i lost my mojo. i was not thrilled with how either item was turning out, so the weather and my cold were the perfect excuse to take a breather, step back, and evaluate what was going on. i realize now that i was being waaaaay too hard on myself, seeing only the things that weren’t working out and not the successes. and more importantly, i was forgetting how much i will learn from these perceived failures and was letting my frustration get the best of me.

while we were out in the yard, cleaning up and getting ready for the planting and tending of spring, i was discussing with my husband that, while we generally have no idea what we’re doing, we do, in fact, know just a little bit more than last year, and that little bit makes a huge difference. that knowledge feels good, the result of hard work and knowing that it will lead to a better looking yard and a more productive garden this year. at the time, we were tackling the huge swath of brambles that we had allowed to slowly encroach on our yard, and last year went to war (or was it a pact?) with the grapevines, creating a painful, impenetrable wall across one path into a lower field. we’re determined to not let that happen again!

i related our lack (or gain) of knowledge to the challenges that i had faced upstairs in my sewing room… my design and technical sewing skills have improved so much since this time last year, and the learning curve is so short in this process. i may feel like the t-shirt i just abandoned is a complete failure, but in reality, i could turn around and make the changes i want, completing another shirt in just a few hours or days (child-willing!). the learning curve for gardening, tending to our property, family, and the building of new relationships, and most importantly, for learning to be easy on myself and to be patient throughout all of these processes, is years in the making. i know more than i did last year. i’ll make some mistakes this time around. and i’ll learn from those mistakes and know even more next year.

anyway, tomorrow i’ll share the sweatshirt that i finally finished. and you know what? i think it turned out pretty great! i just needed three weeks to see it, which i need to accept as part of my process. time and patience, both of which i always feel like i am scrambling to find!

thanks for listening friends!

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